Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
