M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
