If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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