just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
