Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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