I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
