Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
