the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize