Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
