Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
