ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
