She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
