he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
