So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
