Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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