When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This is the high leading the old right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
