I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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