would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize