he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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