Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize