jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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