So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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