All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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