I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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