Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
