You work out of a Hotel?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
