I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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