i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Found the puke drawer
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
