Your face is a jimmy john
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
