Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
