He is an equal opportunity slut.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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