I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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