can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
what day is it and did you see me today?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Randomize
