Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
