I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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