So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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