I forgot how hot balto sounded
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
