I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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