Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
