New low: just hacked my moms facebook
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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