Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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