he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
