So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
