Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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