i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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