Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
