i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
