I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
