I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
