I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
