just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
