Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
