Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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