She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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