I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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