are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
