my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
