i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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