just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The struggles of a small town man whore
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
