No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
