Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
