If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
