doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
