he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i will never coherently bang her
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
