When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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