i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
