i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
