don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
