He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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