My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
