We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
