I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
