it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
