Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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