Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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