so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize