How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
