i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
