I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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