He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
