but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
