but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
