Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
